What was it I said a little while ago? Nothing good ever happens in the snow? Yeah, I think that was it, and here’s more proof: Dead Snow (or Død snø in its native Norwegian). Now, if you’re like me and felt a little let down by Inglourious Basterds and are jonesing for more satisfactory Nazi killing action, then you should think about checking out Dead Snow because as an added bonus, the Nazis in this movie are also zombies. And there’s A LOT more blood and guts. There had to be, really, because this movie is a wash otherwise. But looking for substance in a low-budget horror/black comedy flick is like ordering a salad at a fast food joint, isn’t it? You really only watch a movie like Dead Snow precisely because it’s gonna pile the blood and guts up higher than a ski hill and it responsibly chooses camp over plot.

There still is a plot though, but it’s nothing spectacular, and it goes something like this: a group of medical students head to a remote cabin somewhere in the backwoods/mountains of Norway for some winter fun on Easter weekend. They meet a local curmudgeon who warns them that the hills are rumored to be haunted by a force of Nazi soldiers who were once stationed in the area during World War II. The Nazis had abused and tortured the locals all those years ago until the locals staged an uprising and killed many of the Nazis. The rest fled into the woods and were never heard of again. Until now, of course.

The only other non-violent point of interest is that when the kids are partying in their cabin, they find a box of old German gold coins and jewelery in the floorboards. It’s never explained how this fits into the mayhem that ensues, but I guess we can assume the undead Nazis want it back. I’d like to say the discovery of the box sparks the zombies into action, but they were already killing people before the box showed up, and no explanation is ever given as to whether the treasure belongs to the zombie Nazis or not or what its worth and importance might be. But let’s just go ahead and assume they want it back because so long as they are willing to climb out of the snow and terrorize the vacationers, I’m with it.

The kids begin to fall one-by-one at the decaying hands of their undead enemies; they are beheaded, get their faces ripped off, and are torn limb from limb. They do put up a good fight though, using many different weapons to inflict the same kind of fates on their ugly attackers, and the snow runs red with the skin, brains, and entrails of both sides. It’s a beautiful, disgusting mess. Plus, one dude cuts off his own arm with a chainsaw after he is bitten and another dude sews the gaping wound on his own neck with a hook. They are med students, after all.

Dead Snow isn’t without its comedic moments, either. One person remarks how going to a remote location where phones don’t work is the lame premise of many horror movies, another attacks the zombies brandishing a hammer and a sickle, and the sex scene in the outhouse between the hot girl and the fat guy is anything but sexy when she mounts him after he shits and sucks on the fingers of the hand he used to wipe his ass. Oh, and whomever was responsible for putting up the subtitles must’ve had too much coffee that day because they sometimes flash by so quickly I barely had time to read them. But you don’t read Dead Snow, man. You watch the blood fly.

Check out the trailer for Dead Snow!