“Merlin wasn’t real.”
“Fuck you Merlin wasn’t real.”
“It’s a story.”
“Merlin was part of King Henry’s court and he fucking won all the wars for him ’cause he cast spells. Fuck you, man. That shit’s real.”
“He was part of King Arthur, not King Henry…”
“Yeah, it’s a fable. A fable is history.”

Ah, FUBAR. Amazing. But you know something? Deaner got it absolutely right. A fable is history. The divide between truth and fiction has long since vanished and wizards walk — or, rather, rock — amongst us. I know. So what you’re about to read, everything I’m about to tell you of the outlaw Gideon Smith and his court of motorcycle madmen, The Dixie Damned, may sound like pure cowboy fantasy, a Southern-fried fairy tale full of tumbleweed, rattlers, whiskey, blood, dust, ghosts, and backwoods psychedelia, but it’s simply this: the narcotic we desire most.

Gideon, the Charlotte, North Carolina native, began life as a wizard when he apprenticed at the faithful and frenzied school of Destructo Maximus as a roadie while under the bloody-faced tutelage of Jeff Clayton and his band of wrestlin’ lovin’ murder junkies, ANTiSEEN. The years he spent in that chaotic foxhole, surrounded by barb wire and explosives, arm in arm with the Confederacy of Scum, would spark in him a desire to branch out on his own. So, in 1997, Gideon took that giant leap into outlaw territory with some former Animal Bag members, now dubbed The Dixie Damned.

Gideon Smith & The Dixie Damned spin a swampy brand of blues-infused doom rock, a heavy dose of Southern boogie n’ groove with a hairy chest and meat cleavers for hands. They mix the super-sized spirituality of The Cult with the chain gang riffs of Circus of Power and end up with a shamanistic brand of trippy, bad-ass, redneck biker rock. Gideon’s vocals might be some of the most recognizable in all of rock n’ roll, rolling out of his diaphragm like they’re coming up from the bottom of a well, where Elvis’ bloated carcass floats face down in bong water. The band released a self-titled EP some time after forming, but it wasn’t until 2004′s full-length, Southern Gentlemen, that word came down that there was a new wizard in town.

But, like a wizard is wont to do, Gideon vanished for a few years, appearing only on various tribute albums and compilations. He spent his years in exile dealing with death and cultivating is outlaw way of life, recording some spoken word/poetry stuff on such themes as paganism, the occult, the power of positive thinking, beauty, creativity, and strength, and writing his manifesto, Way of the Outlaw Spirit. Gideon Smith & The Dixie Damned returned to the fold with a six-song EP, Dealin’ Decks, and their second full-length in 2008, South Side of the Moon.

So, what’s Gideon up to now? How goes it in the world of this particular wizard, this rock n’ roll outlaw? What bearded mischief has he been up to? Well, I take council with the man himself, my brother in both wizardry and beard, and we discuss such epic matters as his new album, what it means to be an outlaw, what it means to be a wizard (and how we can’t actually discuss anything to do with wizardry because it’s all top secret), and, of course, beards. There’s even an uncomfortable moment when I mention something about a girl and some chains. This is the stuff you crave, my friend. This is the fable of truth.

Listen to “Draggin’ the River” from Southern Gentlemen!

Let’s kick things off with a good ANTiSEEN road story…

I met those guys in the late ’80s. I have many great memories of those times and still love their music today. As for personal stories, I don’t know, let’s see….those guys are crazy but can also be really funny between each other and just crack you up. What I mean is, there was the intense powerful vibe of that music, but around it all was lots of fun and laughter. We had a lot of fun at shows and when they were recording. I’m happy they let me sing back-up on a few of the records and just hang out with them as friends. It meant a lot and definitely influenced my life. Definitely some intense live shows. Once at a show in ’91, they were playing “Walking Dead” around the time the song was released on the original 7″ record. There is this long breakdown in the middle and Jeff was down on the ground in a trance breaking glass. All of a sudden he started going, “Mr. Mojo risin’” like the old Doors song, and repeated it awhile, and then he sings, “Get your ass..outta that grave!” and they went back into “Walking Dead.” I never saw him do that one again. I could name many examples. Yeah…too many cool stories. I definitely give Jeff, Joe, and company a huge amount of respect for starting a band 25 years ago and still being out there kicking ass. That’s just awesome. ANTiSEEN is a tornado of a band.

All right, now how about some good GS&TDD road stories?

Ok, man, there are too many stories of magic, craziness, and mayhem from the many years of my music’s story to put into one simple answer. Road stories…man, well, once, back in the day, in the early start of my music, we were sitting in this McDonald’s, wicked early in the morning, having stumbled out of the van. Everything was very quiet and we were all really tired. Nobody was talking. We were just scaring the Sunday morning church-goers coming into the place by sitting there looking like a pack of wild heathens staring off into space. People would look at us sideways and walk by very quietly and wonder what planet we fell down from. Anyway, one of the guys who used to play for me could do these really killer King Diamond vocal impressions. He busted in and started singing, “Grandma!!!” and everybody lost it and fell all over the place. It was really funny.

Well, it’s not as good as the story about you chaining that girl up in your practice space, but it did involve a King Diamond reference and scaring old people, so it works. Speaking of which, did that girl take the chains with her or did she leave them for you to use again?

You’re crazy. I have no idea what you’re talking about, ha ha. Reel it back in there, Hoss. Okay, let’s talk about music, bro.

I have legitimate sources!* But okay, music it is. Tell me how awesome the new record is going to be. Have you started working on it?

Ha ha okay, okay…the next LP will be the best yet, full of big rock and maybe a little more swamp rock or traditional sounding. It’s hard say until we’re all done, but whatever it comes out to be, it will be Dixie damned full speed ahead. I love it all: space rock, blues, doom metal, swampy Allman stuff, outlaw country music…so it all falls into place with no plan. Writing a lot, yeah, so we’ll see a new one hopefully next year. I have always wanted to make a ‘Vol. 4 on Mainstreet’ type album, which would be a mix of Sabbath, blues, the swamp, and country. I think there is a Cult tribute CD on the way and I’m going to do “Rain.” Lately I’ve been listening to old outlaw country music, Sabbath, The Doors, The Allman Brothers, Coe, stuff like that. It will be 2011, soundin’ like ’69 as usual, looking deeply into the future of the ’70s. I dont listen to any new music; I still look around for a turntable and wonder what the hell an Ipod is.

Speaking of outlaws, you wrote a book (and a song) called Way of the Outlaw Spirit. How does one tap into their outlaw spirit and what should one do when it does so?

Yeah, that’s right, the book I wrote a few years ago during downtime in my life. It’s a collection of thoughts on various themes like philosophy, positive thinking, and stuff like that. I wrote it because I needed to get it out, and I’m really thankful people read it and it means something to them. It’s a collection of various writings but it all ties together if you have the eye to see it. If you look at the word outlaw, it can be like old wild west, cowboy, rock n’ roll, metal, outlaw country music, or somebody who stands alone like a black sheep in the circles they encounter, or whatever. The outlaw spirit concept means just being yourself and following your heart, not letting society’s herd mentality or weak, fake social scenes, negative people, whatever, dictate who or what you need to be. It’s about making the world a better place and tapping into this within yourself; you just need to be real and be you. Then once you got it, just keep on rolling with the bonfire of your inspiration and personal truth, bright and high. It’s about being yourself and having a full life.

And it’s out of print, right? Will there be a second run?

Probably, yeah, but not anytime soon. I’m thinking more about music at the moment. You know how it goes.

Listen to “Way of the Outlaw” from South Side of the Moon!

Sir, are you a modern day wizard?

Yes. And music and magic are only two letters different.

You just blew my mind. Ok, who else out there for your money excels at wizardry and what makes them such a great wizard?

My friend, I am sworn to secrecy on the activities of other wizards. You must know this my bearded friend. You will know them when you gaze upon them. A true wizard shows it in every act. If you’re around someone and they make life magical somehow, well, there you go. Magic is like beauty, love, power, inspiration or knowledge, the peace and the super majestic thrills of life, wherever you find it.

Ah, yes, I am all too familiar with the code, for I too have been sworn to secrecy, brother. For a second there I forgot that our conversation was being monitored by the masses. All right then, let’s talk about beards. Has your life benefited from growing a beard?

Of course. A beard is a sign of many things in a man’s journey. Sometimes men grow beards during intense times in their life. I think a man grows one for many reasons, each their own. Everybody would have a different take on that. You grow it or you don’t. I change mine up a few times a year, but lately mine has gotten pretty long, and I might just keep it that way. Beards symbolize different things in different cultures. A symbol is like a song, it means whatever it means to you. What would you say about yours?

I would say that it’s an important part of what I do, really, this whole writing about rock n’ roll, doom metal, stoner rock, etc. thing. Not only does it give me the instant appearance of being tough…or homeless…but it holds a certain weight of credibility in its long, coarse hairs. I can relate to the other brothers out there. Like you, for instance. We bonded over the beard. So, I don’t think I’d be able to do what I do so well with a clean face. Am I crazy? Perhaps, but I bet you feel the same way about what you do. An outlaw, a wizard, MUST have a beard, right?

I can dig it, man. Listen, if you feel it, you need to be livin’ it. Beard on, man!

Righteous! Ok, Jack, this seems like the perfect time to wrap it up and bring out the lightning bolts:

Who would win in a fight — a robot scorpion or a zombie bumblebee?

Robot Scorpion. All zombie bumblebees were destroyed by Mila.

Excellent. Hey, do you actually own a black light wizard poster?

Yes.**

I thought so. Okay, would Zeppelin have been half as good as they were if Jimmy Page didn’t dabble in the occult?

Only Page can tell you that, but I would say who knows? One of the greatest bands ever. Who knows what those crazies were up to at that time. I wish I had gotten to see them. What great music those guys made.

Indian Larry or Sailor Jerry?

Larry.

Finally, what’s waiting for us on the south side of the moon?

Play the album, close your eyes, and find out! Follow your dreams to the moon and beyond.

That’s it, folks. Gideon is off to work on his new album or cast some wicked hillbilly spells. Or both, because music and magic…well, you get the idea. So, in the words of my bearded brother, “KEEP IT WIZARD!”

*I read all about it in Gigs From Hell: True Stories from Rock & Roll’s Frontline (2003), which was put together and edited by my good friend, Sleazegrinder. I think Gideon would prefer to forget that, ha ha.

**Gideon wasn’t foolin’ when he said he owns a black light wizard poster. Check it out! I am extremely jealous. He even wrote a song about it.

Listen to “Blacklight Wizard Poster” from South Side of the Moon!