Well, I guess we’ve finally reached that moment, but before I reveal my favourite song and album of the year, I do want to give out consolatory honours to some albums and songs that, had I been ranking things this year, would’ve been right up there at the top, competing for bearded glory. I’ve already mentioned Black Mountain’s Wilderness Heart, Sweet Apple’s Love & Desperation, Dirty Sweet’s American Spiritual, and The Kings of Frog Island’s III, all of which should be highlighted, but I want to add the following albums and songs into their company…

High On Fire’s Snakes for the Divine, The Sword’s Warp Riders, Year of No Light’s Ausserwelt, Agalloch’s Marrow of the Spirit, Tweak Bird’s Tweak Bird, Souvenir’s Young America’s The Name of the Snake, and The Adjusters’ Reckless Relations. Every single one of ‘em is highly recommended.

Shit, I don’t think I can stop there. Okay, let’s also add Night Horse’s Perdition Hymns, Alcest’s Écailles de lune, Dead Trooper’s Cynicist, Brother Dege’s Folksongs of the American Longhair, Trap Them’s Filth Rations, the Melvins’ The Bride Screamed Murder, Electric Wizard’s Black Masses, Torche’s Songs for Singles, Violent Soho’s Violent Soho, Daughters’ Daughters, and Year Long Disaster’s Black Magic; All Mysteries Revealed. I could probably keep going, but these stand-outs will have to do.

As for songs, there was Black Mountain’s “The Hair Song” and “Sadie,” and Sweet Apple’s “Do You Remember,” and “Flying Up a Mountain,” but there were two others I had a tendency to play over and over again all year long, and those were Against Me!’s “Spanish Moss” and The Sword’s “Night City.”

But now, let’s just get this damn year-end thing over with…

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The Best Album of the Year By a Band That Broke Up After They Released It

I took on four albums this year that, barring any reunions down the road, were their respective bands last albums. These particular bands, for their own reasons, decided to call it day, and, believe it or not, I’m actually not that torn up about it. You see, I subscribe the the three-and-out theory, which simply means that I think most bands do their best work on their first three albums and should stop making music after that. Obviously some bands blow this theory apart, but most of them don’t, so it is with the utmost respect that I salute these bands for bowing out at the right time…and on a high note, which they all have done.

Of the four, The Kings of Frog Island left us with a dark and gloomy masterpiece, III, that almost makes me wish they weren’t leaving. The album always had an eerie air about it, but its somber reflections on death take on a whole new meaning now, and the mesmerizing psych-rock of many of the albums songs foreshadow the fall of a kingdom due to the death of its kings. And for that, III is the best album of the year by a band that broke up after they released it.

We also have to say goodbye to Dirty Sweet (I’m really gonna miss that beard), who made a huge fan out of me with their second and last album, American Spiritual, Dragontears, who dropped their third and final (or at least it’s supposed to be) album Turn On Tune In Fuck Off!! on us (looks like it’s back to Baby Woodrose for our friend Lorenzo), and Josiah (that’s two of Mat Bethancourt’s many lives), who signed off with Procession. All awesome albums.

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The Best Beard of the Year

Despite the fact that he probably spent most of the year sportin’ an old-timey mustache, I’m giving beard of the year to Dirty Sweet singer, Ryan Koontz. I became enamored with Dirty Sweet this year after I heard their amazing sophomore album, American Spiritual, and kind of developed a man crush on Koontz thanks to this beard (my wife can vouch…I wouldn’t stop watching videos of him and his band in action). If we’re to judge his beard by this picture, it screams gnarly sophistication. Sometimes it’s okay to have a beard that makes you look like a serial rapist, but other times you want that 1800s professor of psychology look. With its prevalent chin and neck growth, distinguished wisps of grey, and droopy ‘stache, it’s a beard that says I teach radical theories by day and guzzle cognac and chase wenches by night.

Speaking of serial rapist beards, the best collection of beards in one band goes to Valient Thorr. I mean, who else, right? These guys are beard champions. The key to their success? A Complete lack of soap and lots of denim. And a nod to Blacktusk bassist Jonathan Athon for sheer length. He’s got one hell of a pavement tickler there.

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