This piece of shit movie is supposed to be about disenfranchised teens, the bonds of friendship, and sexual curiosity, blah blah, but I think it’s just an hour and a half of poorly acted, terribly scripted, rape. Or necrophilia, depending on how you want to look at it. First, I couldn’t get past the 20-something actors that are suppose to be high school kids. It didn’t work on 90210 and it’s not working here. Second, given the averages laid out by this film, 100% of men — sorry, boys — who come across a bound and dead (or near dead) body of a woman aren’t going to try and help her, but are going to fuck her repeatedly. If only the girls at school would just spread their legs, then these guys wouldn’t have to fuck a living corpse, huh? I guess that’s another point this movie is trying to make, so pay attention ladies. And about this dead girl? Well, she’s not really dead in so much as she can’t die. Don’t even bother asking why or how she got that way because that kind of detail isn’t important. The important thing is, she’s naked and not really willing.
The fact that 2009′s The Collector comes from the same dudes responsible for writing the Saw franchise well past respectability and straight into this-is-just-getting-stupid-now territory (those being numbers IV, V, and VI) is a heavy burden to lay on a movie, and although the movie squirms and fights as best it can, it’s unfortunately unable to free itself from that constraint. A fitting description given that The Collector is, as you can imagine, all about captivity and torture. And booby traps. Yes, lots of booby traps. It doesn’t really make a lick of sense, mind you, and you have to suspend your disbelief from the fucking rafters like a bound and gagged body in order to shut it up from asking any sensible questions (and you’ll be wanting to ask a lot of them, believe me), but sometimes that doesn’t matter when some dude in a leather mask is terrorizing a helpless family for shits and giggles and hurting them in creatively sadistic and terribly painful ways.