We’ve run into a real string of bad movies lately, haven’t we? Not that I thought Parasomnia was going to be any different, and not that you haven’t come to expect bad movie write-ups from me, but when you hoe the low budget road, there’s usually some awesome surprises waiting for you. Besides, this one was written and directed by William Malone, the same dude who did House on Haunted Hill and Feardotcom (yeah, okay, also not great but at least these were legitimate theatrical releases and starred people like Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, and Stephen Dorff), so I suppose one could gleam a glimmer of horror hope from this one. But all hope was quickly dashed and there weren’t any surprises waiting for me. Only a mundane, low budget fantasy lost in a shitty dream world of love, blood, and madness.

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The most buzzed about movie in the last year or so has to be The Human Centipede (First Sequence). Of course, you won’t find it at your local Blockbuster, so the wife finally managed to track it down on the Internet just so we could find out why this movie made people wretch and squirm and turn their head away in pure disgust (if you believe what you read in cyberspace, some people were so turned off by this movie that they walked out of test screenings). So, what’s the big deal then? Ass-to-mouth, that’s what, but not the porno version. More of a literal, torturous version. There’s no doubt that writer/director Tom Six has a twisted mind (again, if you believe what you read in cyberspace the idea for this movie stems from a joke he made about punishing child molesters by sewing their mouths to a trucker’s ass) because the nature of this movie falls right off the scale, and it is indeed stomach-turning, but I wasn’t as shocked by the gratuity of this film as much as others seem to have been. Maybe it was all the hype, but I was let down by its sicko factor.

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I was thinking about starting a ‘From the Vaults’ feature where once a month I would tell you all about a B movie treasure you simply must check out, but that’s an awfully lame name for such a feature, and I don’t exactly write about new movies anyway, so everything is from a vault of some kind, so to speak. So, no label. Just the usual strange and wonderful trip through celluloid city you’ve come to love and expect here. That being said, how does a sci-fi horror where a woman’s head is kept alive in the hopes that a fringe surgeon can give her a new body sound? If that sounds like a delicious piece of bad candy, you’re in luck, because that’s the 1962 classic The Brain That Wouldn’t Die!

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