Glitter Wizard
Solar Hits
Archers’ Guild Records

Listen, there’s a million bands out there, and you can generally get by without knowing about or hearing 99 per cent of ‘em, but every once in awhile you’ll discover a band who takes complete control of that select one per cent and it’s like the sonic Gods have smiled upon you and showered you with electric riches. There’s no other way to preface the glory that is Glitter Wizard, whose name ranks among the one of the best I’ve come across in years, because their cosmic psych-punk is gonna hit you like one thousand crotch lasers to the face. I mean, just look at that cover — it’s like a Monty Python sketch of AC/DC’s “Jailbreak” video; tell me you don’t want to dive right in and embrace its silly madness? And you might think the songs will come across as shtick-based whimsy, but I’m here to tell you that there’s a real power behind the muddled space rock this San Fransisco band blasts through. In fact, it’s a whole mess of genre-melting goodness, from riff-ripe opener “ABACA” (I would have liked to have heard this song on Red Fang’s new album) to garage pop closer “Summertime,” and all the glam punk (“I Don’t Like You”), flute-filled prog (“Mirror Man”), and organ-fried doom (“Spider” and “Warsawng”) in between, and Solar Hits touches on — and shifts — essential paradigms within the rock n’ roll stratus of today’s thriving throwback culture. And it’s all done in freaky, fuzzed-out fashion, whether a song is two-and-a-half minutes long or seven-and-a-half minutes long, so you’re gonna have one hell of a time with this one. You could throw a whole slew of bands into a blender to get this kind of star-shake, but I think if you include the Science Fiction Idols, Hawkwind, Danava, and Uncle Bad Touch — and maybe some moon rock, acid, and black candles as well — you’ll find the twisted flower power of Glitter Wizard tastes really fuckin’ good.

Stream the entirety of Solar Hits right here! Buy it while you’re there!

The Nuclears
The Nuclears
MegaPlatinum Records

Sometimes you come across a band too big for their platform boots, a gang of cigarette suckers with stars for eyes who’ll turn any storage closet in any bar into their own personal dressing room. The singer’s got a $150 scarf wrapped around his neck even though he looks like he can’t afford to eat. He’s all ribs, eyeliner, and petulant posturing while his band plays the dutiful, leather-jacketed longhairs, masters of their bloozy craft. The Nuclears are that band. Or they fucking sound like it, anyway. And while there’s no doubt that this New York-by-way-of-Washington band’s sound drips with elements of a champagne n’ limousine glam rock, it’s the raw power and punk rock attitude that really propels this self-titled debut, making it a drunken, desperate mess of rock n’ roll energy. Flat out, this album sizzles the second it drops, it’s first half a shakin’ jukebox of ragged riffs and shout-along glory; there’s not a song amongst “Pay Yer Dues,” “Get Me Outta Here,” “A Blindfold & A Cigarette,” “Get Up!,” and “Tanzen Macht Frei” that hasn’t been touched by a handful of essentially influential bands like The Ramones, The Stooges, early Aerosmith, and Hanoi Rocks. Now, the train could’ve kept a-rollin’ right along and everything would’ve been super fine, but the album’s second half goes off the tracks a bit thanks to a grouping of songs whose styles and sounds are all over the map. There’s not a bad song in the bunch, per se, but they don’t deliver the same flow and punch as the first-half songs; the near seven minute “Eclipso” has shades of Black Sabbath (particularly “Children of the Grave”) running throughout, “Fast Cars & Loud Guitars” and “Rock & Roll Riot” (both of which would’ve been totally at home on the first half) are gutter rock numbers that do The Dictators proud, “Turn On You” is an organ-fried gospel/soul song, and “You Can Make It” brings the Rolling Stones’ country n’ blues to life. Listen, all that second-half confusion aside, there’s something endearingly blue about The Nuclears, like a well-earned thigh bruise, and even though they’re not entirely new to the scene (ex-Drag Citizen singer Nick Vivid has some miles under him), they’re on the cusp of stumbling into a whole heap of hot action. And when that happens, brother, we’re gonna be dealing with one confident, bad-ass, braggadocios bunch.

Listen to “Get Me Outta Here” from The Nuclears!

Biters
All Chewed Up
Underrated Records

So, are the Biters the biggest band in the world yet? I think we need to look into it. They have to be by now. Have to be. They’re circling the skies above Tokyo at this very moment in a private jet piloted by a chimp in aviator shades and a rhinestone vest, right? Well, while I wait for confirmation on this, I’m gonna try to wrap my head around another EP from Atlanta’s shock n’ awesome rock n’ roll show, because, truth be told, I’m still not over the first two yet. With album-of-the-year hardware still warm in their hands, the Biters refuse to take their cheetah-skinned shoes off of the accelerator for even a minute, intent on driving headlong into candy-land in the middle of the starry night instead of slowing down to enjoy the ride. But can you blame ‘em? Tuk and Co. are pumping out hits like a gumball machine with a broken dispenser and the resulting sugar high is beyond euphoric. Like the previous two EPs, All Chewed Up is a glam-pop junkie’s dream come true, but manages to separate itself slightly by offering a few extra songs (seven instead of the customary five) and adding Bolan (“Rock N Roll Loser”) and Poon (“[Oh Yeah] The Bitch Wants More”) to the roll call of influences that already includes Nielsen and Thunders. The Biters do it again, my friends. The question is, how many more times are they gonna do it before the year is out?

Listen to “Born To Cry” from All Chewed Up!