The Nuclears
The Nuclears
MegaPlatinum Records

Sometimes you come across a band too big for their platform boots, a gang of cigarette suckers with stars for eyes who’ll turn any storage closet in any bar into their own personal dressing room. The singer’s got a $150 scarf wrapped around his neck even though he looks like he can’t afford to eat. He’s all ribs, eyeliner, and petulant posturing while his band plays the dutiful, leather-jacketed longhairs, masters of their bloozy craft. The Nuclears are that band. Or they fucking sound like it, anyway. And while there’s no doubt that this New York-by-way-of-Washington band’s sound drips with elements of a champagne n’ limousine glam rock, it’s the raw power and punk rock attitude that really propels this self-titled debut, making it a drunken, desperate mess of rock n’ roll energy. Flat out, this album sizzles the second it drops, it’s first half a shakin’ jukebox of ragged riffs and shout-along glory; there’s not a song amongst “Pay Yer Dues,” “Get Me Outta Here,” “A Blindfold & A Cigarette,” “Get Up!,” and “Tanzen Macht Frei” that hasn’t been touched by a handful of essentially influential bands like The Ramones, The Stooges, early Aerosmith, and Hanoi Rocks. Now, the train could’ve kept a-rollin’ right along and everything would’ve been super fine, but the album’s second half goes off the tracks a bit thanks to a grouping of songs whose styles and sounds are all over the map. There’s not a bad song in the bunch, per se, but they don’t deliver the same flow and punch as the first-half songs; the near seven minute “Eclipso” has shades of Black Sabbath (particularly “Children of the Grave”) running throughout, “Fast Cars & Loud Guitars” and “Rock & Roll Riot” (both of which would’ve been totally at home on the first half) are gutter rock numbers that do The Dictators proud, “Turn On You” is an organ-fried gospel/soul song, and “You Can Make It” brings the Rolling Stones’ country n’ blues to life. Listen, all that second-half confusion aside, there’s something endearingly blue about The Nuclears, like a well-earned thigh bruise, and even though they’re not entirely new to the scene (ex-Drag Citizen singer Nick Vivid has some miles under him), they’re on the cusp of stumbling into a whole heap of hot action. And when that happens, brother, we’re gonna be dealing with one confident, bad-ass, braggadocios bunch.

Listen to “Get Me Outta Here” from The Nuclears!

Biters
All Chewed Up
Underrated Records

So, are the Biters the biggest band in the world yet? I think we need to look into it. They have to be by now. Have to be. They’re circling the skies above Tokyo at this very moment in a private jet piloted by a chimp in aviator shades and a rhinestone vest, right? Well, while I wait for confirmation on this, I’m gonna try to wrap my head around another EP from Atlanta’s shock n’ awesome rock n’ roll show, because, truth be told, I’m still not over the first two yet. With album-of-the-year hardware still warm in their hands, the Biters refuse to take their cheetah-skinned shoes off of the accelerator for even a minute, intent on driving headlong into candy-land in the middle of the starry night instead of slowing down to enjoy the ride. But can you blame ‘em? Tuk and Co. are pumping out hits like a gumball machine with a broken dispenser and the resulting sugar high is beyond euphoric. Like the previous two EPs, All Chewed Up is a glam-pop junkie’s dream come true, but manages to separate itself slightly by offering a few extra songs (seven instead of the customary five) and adding Bolan (“Rock N Roll Loser”) and Poon (“[Oh Yeah] The Bitch Wants More”) to the roll call of influences that already includes Nielsen and Thunders. The Biters do it again, my friends. The question is, how many more times are they gonna do it before the year is out?

Listen to “Born To Cry” from All Chewed Up!

The Adjusters
…Always in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time
Pop the Balloon

One of my favourite albums last year was The Adjusters’ debut, Reckless Relations. It was a real slick n’ sleazy punk rock record, and an awfully wonderful surprise to boot, too, seeing as how The Adjusters are a bunch of juveniles. Thankfully, juveniles and delinquency go hand-in-hand, and if you’re going to devote your life to safety pin suicide, you need to spoil the disenfranchised with a sound they can dance to. Well, The Adjusters are back — slightly older and hopefully none the wiser — with a brand new single, …Always in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time, and while it doesn’t quite match the raw unpredictability of their debut, it does posses a stronger sense of craftsmanship and melody. Side A’s offering, “Wrong Place, Wrong Time,” is a street savvy ivory n’ blues rocker that sounds something like the Dead Boys bustin’ jukeboxes in a soda shop, while the flip-side’s “You Gotta Say” is a true pop gem bolstered by a Stones-inspired country n’ glam riff and a bunch of ‘woo-hoos’ that roll right along with it. Okay, so it turns out The Adjusters are a little bit wiser, but they still pack enough greasy gumption to give you the two-fingered salute.

Listen to “You Gotta Say” from …Always in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time!