Bezoar
Wyt Deth
No World Order Records

That’s it. You’ve convinced me, Brooklyn. You are now thee number one spot in the world for heavy, weird, fuzzy, psychedelic music. Okay? Hull, Elks, Bad Dream, Weird Owl, Children…and now Bezoar. I’m sure there’s plenty more rats crawling around in the sewers there that I’m not even aware of, but as far as I’m concerned right now, none of ‘em are bigger — or carry more diseases — than Bezoar. I mean, even their name invokes images of a mythical beast from children’s fables, and this three-headed varmint more than lives up to the hairy, red eye scares it promises. Expounding doom-infused wyt noize, Bezoar’s debut full-length, Wyt Deth, is a lumbering mess of feedback and mildewy riffs, a witchy, warbling deth-psych album that’s definitely hard to listen to, but surely impossible to turn off. Whether it’s the short and sweet allure of songs like “Burn Everything” and “Nikola” or the long and devastating hold of songs like “We Are Not Alone” and “Knight,” the whole damn thing is nauseously enchanting, and you might think it sounds like a dungeon full of hungry, dying prisoners moaning for sunlight, water, and mercy, but that’s just Sara Palmquist (bass/vocals), Tyler Villard (guitar), and Justin Sherrell (drums) laying down the most mystical stoner metal you’re likely to hear all year. Awesome stuff.

Listen to Wyt Deth in it’s entirety right here!

October’s Beard of the Month is a familiar one, belonging to Black Tusk bassist Jonathon Athon, who also received some end-of-the-year kudos in 2010 for his fire-branded, foot-and-a-half facial fashion statement. Athon’s beard is grade A ginger greatness, and nearly a year later it still boasts an unbridled barbarianism that’d make Erik the Red jealous if he were alive today. You know that iconic image of Superman standing on top of a skyscraper, his cape blowing in the wind a tell-tale sign of his heroic awesomeness? That’s how I like to think of Athon, only instead of a skyscraper it’s a mountain and instead of a cape it’s his beard.

And a worthy nod to the hairy fellows in The Shrine, seen here posing with an elder beard named Chief. I don’t know who Chief is or what his story might be, but you can bet it’s a good one judging by his beard. And so The Shrine, taking their beard, beer, and cigarette cue from Chief, are well on their way to becoming a proud bunch of drunk Gandalfs too!

Brandon Bliss, the ragged face on keys and vocals for Canadian band Monster Truck, is this month’s top beard. Bliss, seen below (second from the left) in what I guarantee is a promo shot for the band and not an advertisement for gay bears, is full of so much hairy exuberance that he makes me want to go out and buy up all the rawhide vests I can get my hands on. I want a closet full of ‘em so that no matter what the occasion, I will have fluffy pectorals and paunch to flaunt. I’m actually going to be seeing Monster Truck live in a few weeks and it is my sincere hope that Bliss and I get a chance to rub beards. And paunch.

Oh, and I’m gonna go ahead and give honourable mention to this fine group of neck beards. I don’t know what these Amish criminals did, but these mugshots are fucking hilarious. They do for work shirts what Bliss does for vests, don’t you think?