Behold! The Monolith
Defender, Redeemist
BTM Records

As proven before, Behold! The Monolith’s stoner sludge is for subhumans only, and it is on Defender, Redeemist, their second full-length, that the LA trio delve further into the subterranean, digging out their descent with sledgehammers, not shovels. Defender, Redeemist is rife with ground and pound riffs, and tracks like “Halv King,” “Desolizator,” “We Are the Worm,” and “Witch Hunt Supreme” are a glorious feast of mud pies and smegma cakes, each one belching out High On Fire fury amidst tremulous and atmospheric aggression. However, it’s on the album’s three longest songs, “Redeemist,” “Cast On The Black/Lamentor/Guided By The Southern Cross,” and “Bull Colossi,” that the band is at its most heinous, laying down an ageless, soul-sucking black metal doom that ebbs, flows, and screams in myriad glorious ways. Add to that Billy Anderson’s production work and Dusty Peterson’s art work (which kind of reminds me of a re-imagined Screaming for Vengeance), and Defender, Redeemist is one hell of a monster on so many different levels.

Listen to “Halv King” from Defender, Redeemist!

I know I’m getting to the BOM early, but I’m only going to have one more post after this before we move into next year, and besides, I already have the recipients picked out, so I don’t see any need to tarry. Oh, and if you don’t know by now, December is henceforth renamed Decembeard, although I do encourage you to just grow a beard every month, forever and always. Ok?

Now, this month’s winner is whomever this guy is! While I don’t know his name, I do love his beard; I can only hope my beard seasons itself as beautifully as his has. This savory gentleman, who, given the time of year, might be the coolest Santa ever with a beat-up pick-up for a sled, was posted on The Twilight Singers’ facebook page, and not only is it a terrific shot featuring a terrific beard, it’s got Greg Dulli’s fingerprints on it. Also terrific. Anyway, sir, your beard is storm born and wicked as hell, so congratulations!

Oh, and this month’s runners up are Kevin Clark and Tim Herzog from the North Carolina sludge metal band Black Skies. I never got around to reviewing their new album, On the Wings of Time, so I’m making up for it by honouring their singer/guitarist and drummer right here and now. But really, they would’ve made it based on those beards alone because those are some legit fuckers. Sea captain up front, wizard in the rear. Hell of a job, fellas.

Midnight
Satanic Royalty
Hells Headbangers

After almost ten years of releasing only splits and EPs — and not really wanting to become a real band at all –  Cleveland’s cult metal band Midnight have finally succumbed to a full-length job, and it’s the genuine article, man. Led by Athenar, the same freak responsible for the brew-fueled madness that was Boulder, Midnight don executioner hoods, worship flame and steel, and rip through ten songs (eleven if you have the vinyl) of black metal thrash so absurdly good you’ll be reawakening neck muscles that have been retired since the early 80s. It’s clear that Midnight’s mission is annihilation, which they deliver to you, like a shitty 2 AM pizza, in thirty minutes or less, and despite the fact that Satanic Royalty is dripping with Venom inspired evil violence, its really powered by a degenerate biker rawk Athenar has no doubt borrowed from his Boulder days. Thus, every song, especially “You Can’t Stop Steel,” “Lust, Filth and Sleaze,” and “Shock ’til Blood,” sound like Cronos leading Motörhead on a black-winged ride outta hell and straight up your ass. Anyone who has stuck by Midnight over the years waiting for this day to come can go ahead and raise their gauntlets high. As for the uninitiated, prepare to be outright dominated by pure metal riff-itude.

Listen to “Lust, Filth and Sleaze” from Satanic Royalty!