Behold! The Monolith
Defender, Redeemist
BTM Records

As proven before, Behold! The Monolith’s stoner sludge is for subhumans only, and it is on Defender, Redeemist, their second full-length, that the LA trio delve further into the subterranean, digging out their descent with sledgehammers, not shovels. Defender, Redeemist is rife with ground and pound riffs, and tracks like “Halv King,” “Desolizator,” “We Are the Worm,” and “Witch Hunt Supreme” are a glorious feast of mud pies and smegma cakes, each one belching out High On Fire fury amidst tremulous and atmospheric aggression. However, it’s on the album’s three longest songs, “Redeemist,” “Cast On The Black/Lamentor/Guided By The Southern Cross,” and “Bull Colossi,” that the band is at its most heinous, laying down an ageless, soul-sucking black metal doom that ebbs, flows, and screams in myriad glorious ways. Add to that Billy Anderson’s production work and Dusty Peterson’s art work (which kind of reminds me of a re-imagined Screaming for Vengeance), and Defender, Redeemist is one hell of a monster on so many different levels.

Listen to “Halv King” from Defender, Redeemist!

At the beginning of the month I put a call out to all you fellow Beardians, giving you the opportunity to tell me what your favourite albums were this year. I figured that kind of year-end interaction would be better than me coming up with some arbitrary best-of list. Well, I’m not sure if that was too much work for you or if it’s the fact that no one actually reads this blog (that’s highly possible, but I’ll continue on as if at least a few of you are reading), but I got zero response. So…now you’re stuck with a list!

While I did enjoy a great many releases this year (this list concerns mainly full-lengths, not EPs or singles even though I listened to some damn fine ones this year), there were some that affected me more than the rest, and we’ll get to those in a minute. First though, specific thanks go out to Roadsaw, Dixie Witch, Lo-Pan, Trap Them, Biters, Mariachi El Bronx, Toxic Holocaust, Karma To Burn, Hazzard’s Cure, Premonition 13, Black Spiders, Mastodon, Saviours, Spiders, Darlings of Chelsea, Helms Alee, Blood Ceremony, Danava, Monster Truck, C’mon, Barn Burner, Jesse Sykes & The Sweet Hereafter, The Heavy Eyes, Opeth, Elder, and Omega Massif for releasing some top notch, beard-approved albums this year. All mighty stellar indeed.

But there were 14 albums in particular this past year that blasted my beard all to sweet holy hell, and while I’m not gonna rank ‘em, I do think they deserve some extra attention, and you’d be best served to go and seek them out immediately if you haven’t already. So here they are, in alphabetical order…

Black Cobra – Invernal: Eight cuts of unrelenting rotten roll much braver, louder, and nastier than any Black Cobra album that’s come before… (review here)

Elks – Destined for the Sun: This year’s ‘Holy-fuck-these-guys-are-my-new-favourite-band!’ band… (review here)

Gentleman’s Pistols – At Her Majesty’s Pleasure: You don’t so much as listen to it as you do walk into its dark and musty den and stare at all the trophy riffs mounted on the wall like 10 point bucks… (review here)

Glitter Wizard – Solar Hits: Their cosmic psych-punk is gonna hit you like one thousand crotch lasers to the face… (review here)

Graveyard – Hisingen Blues: Rarefied fuzzdom, a kind of electric catnip that makes bell-bottomed leaf hounds go bat-shit… (review here)

Jeremy Irons & The Ratgang Malibus – Bloom: An incredibly soulful jam that focuses the majority of its attention on delivering its hazy, swirling melodies in a clear and present manner… (review here)

The Low Anthem – Smart Flesh: The indie Rhode Island band instills a breathless yearning into their music that rivals any other kind of emotional response you will get from any other kind of music… (review here)

Michael Monroe – Sensory Overdrive: Full of so many eyelined hits it’ll make your head spin… (review here)

Midnight – Satanic Royalty: Black metal thrash so absurdly good you’ll be reawakening neck muscles that have been retired since the early 80s… (review here)

Orchid – Capricorn: Witchy-riffed psych-blues that, had it been recorded in 1969, would be the subject of the first chapter of all tomes concerning the history of heavy metal… (review here)

The Shrine – Bless Off Demo: Just one run through Bless Off‘s neurotic, thrashy, fuzzy, riff-packed punk-doom hybrid and beer will taste better, partying will last longer, denim will fit snugger, and your conquests — sexual or otherwise — will be mightier… (review here)

Skraeckoedlan - Äppelträdet: Äppelträdet (The Apple Tree) stands deep-rooted and thick-trunked, its branches offering  the sweet taste of mammoth melody, and each song you pick is bigger and juicer than the next… (review here)

Turbowolf – Turbowolf: A sweat bomb of ultra-hip, greasy electricity… (review here)

Untimely Demise – City of Steel: Dynamite piece of soul fucking metal… (review here)

So that’s it…another good year, huh? Sadly, I would’ve like to have reviewed Nordic Nomadic’s Worldwide Skyline and some other stuff, but I didn’t. Can’t word ‘em all, I guess.

Oh, and one more thing…I feel like I should pick a beard of the year. So, the winner is…my pal James. James won the Beard of the Month back in February, and has kept his hairy trophy on display since, and now he looks like Guy Fawkes. You might say, ‘Oh, you’re only giving it to him because you know him,’ and you may be right, but you cannot argue against that beard, can you? Occupy facial hair, motherfuckers!

Ok, enjoy the holidaze, friends. There’s plenty slated for review once we resume activity in 2012, including Orange Goblin, Christian Mistress, Dwellers, Black Pyramid, King Giant, Rising, The Saint James Society, High on Fire, Earth, and much more! Maybe even an exclusive sneak peek at the new Sex Slaves album! See you in the New Year.

Black Pyramid
Stormbringer EP
Hydro-Phonic Records

Black Pyramid’s 2009 self-titled full-length debut was nothing short of devastating, and I mean that in the best way possible, of course. It’s a festering slab of warmongering fuzz often compared to a maligned mix of Black Sabbath, Sleep, and High on Fire, and it’s as close as you’ll get to a modern day doom classic, if such a thing exists. Well, the Massachusetts trio is back (on their own after a few splits) with two new songs, side A’s “Stormbringer” (not a Deep Purple cover) and side B’s “Cloud of Unknowing,” and both remain true to Black Pyramid’s rotting character but offer some subtle twists that hint at an evolving metal sound; “Stormbringer,” for instance, rides into battle at a Sword-like tempo and contains a mid-song breakdown reminiscent of Metallica’s “Orion” or “The Call of Ktulu” while “Cloud of Unknowing” opens in a more haunting, melodic death fashion akin to Swallow the Sun before it converts to crushing. If you’re not into Black Pyramid yet, now is the time. Guitarist/vocalist Andy Beresky is quickly emerging as one of my favourite in the genre, and assuming they haven’t sold out, this 7″ has an amazing die-cut cover and is available in both a standard and deluxe edition.*

*I was lucky enough to snag one of the 100 deluxe editions before they sold out. It came with glow-in-the-dark vinyl and a CD containing six songs (the two from this EP, three from Black Pyramid’s 2007 demo, and the vinyl-only track, “Macedonia,” from the self-titled full-length). To the best of my knowledge, though, the standard edition is still available.

Check out a video of Black Pyramid performing “Stormbringer” live!