At the beginning of the month I put a call out to all you fellow Beardians, giving you the opportunity to tell me what your favourite albums were this year. I figured that kind of year-end interaction would be better than me coming up with some arbitrary best-of list. Well, I’m not sure if that was too much work for you or if it’s the fact that no one actually reads this blog (that’s highly possible, but I’ll continue on as if at least a few of you are reading), but I got zero response. So…now you’re stuck with a list!

While I did enjoy a great many releases this year (this list concerns mainly full-lengths, not EPs or singles even though I listened to some damn fine ones this year), there were some that affected me more than the rest, and we’ll get to those in a minute. First though, specific thanks go out to Roadsaw, Dixie Witch, Lo-Pan, Trap Them, Biters, Mariachi El Bronx, Toxic Holocaust, Karma To Burn, Hazzard’s Cure, Premonition 13, Black Spiders, Mastodon, Saviours, Spiders, Darlings of Chelsea, Helms Alee, Blood Ceremony, Danava, Monster Truck, C’mon, Barn Burner, Jesse Sykes & The Sweet Hereafter, The Heavy Eyes, Opeth, Elder, and Omega Massif for releasing some top notch, beard-approved albums this year. All mighty stellar indeed.

But there were 14 albums in particular this past year that blasted my beard all to sweet holy hell, and while I’m not gonna rank ‘em, I do think they deserve some extra attention, and you’d be best served to go and seek them out immediately if you haven’t already. So here they are, in alphabetical order…

Black Cobra – Invernal: Eight cuts of unrelenting rotten roll much braver, louder, and nastier than any Black Cobra album that’s come before… (review here)

Elks – Destined for the Sun: This year’s ‘Holy-fuck-these-guys-are-my-new-favourite-band!’ band… (review here)

Gentleman’s Pistols – At Her Majesty’s Pleasure: You don’t so much as listen to it as you do walk into its dark and musty den and stare at all the trophy riffs mounted on the wall like 10 point bucks… (review here)

Glitter Wizard – Solar Hits: Their cosmic psych-punk is gonna hit you like one thousand crotch lasers to the face… (review here)

Graveyard – Hisingen Blues: Rarefied fuzzdom, a kind of electric catnip that makes bell-bottomed leaf hounds go bat-shit… (review here)

Jeremy Irons & The Ratgang Malibus – Bloom: An incredibly soulful jam that focuses the majority of its attention on delivering its hazy, swirling melodies in a clear and present manner… (review here)

The Low Anthem – Smart Flesh: The indie Rhode Island band instills a breathless yearning into their music that rivals any other kind of emotional response you will get from any other kind of music… (review here)

Michael Monroe – Sensory Overdrive: Full of so many eyelined hits it’ll make your head spin… (review here)

Midnight – Satanic Royalty: Black metal thrash so absurdly good you’ll be reawakening neck muscles that have been retired since the early 80s… (review here)

Orchid – Capricorn: Witchy-riffed psych-blues that, had it been recorded in 1969, would be the subject of the first chapter of all tomes concerning the history of heavy metal… (review here)

The Shrine – Bless Off Demo: Just one run through Bless Off‘s neurotic, thrashy, fuzzy, riff-packed punk-doom hybrid and beer will taste better, partying will last longer, denim will fit snugger, and your conquests — sexual or otherwise — will be mightier… (review here)

Skraeckoedlan - Äppelträdet: Äppelträdet (The Apple Tree) stands deep-rooted and thick-trunked, its branches offering  the sweet taste of mammoth melody, and each song you pick is bigger and juicer than the next… (review here)

Turbowolf – Turbowolf: A sweat bomb of ultra-hip, greasy electricity… (review here)

Untimely Demise – City of Steel: Dynamite piece of soul fucking metal… (review here)

So that’s it…another good year, huh? Sadly, I would’ve like to have reviewed Nordic Nomadic’s Worldwide Skyline and some other stuff, but I didn’t. Can’t word ‘em all, I guess.

Oh, and one more thing…I feel like I should pick a beard of the year. So, the winner is…my pal James. James won the Beard of the Month back in February, and has kept his hairy trophy on display since, and now he looks like Guy Fawkes. You might say, ‘Oh, you’re only giving it to him because you know him,’ and you may be right, but you cannot argue against that beard, can you? Occupy facial hair, motherfuckers!

Ok, enjoy the holidaze, friends. There’s plenty slated for review once we resume activity in 2012, including Orange Goblin, Christian Mistress, Dwellers, Black Pyramid, King Giant, Rising, The Saint James Society, High on Fire, Earth, and much more! Maybe even an exclusive sneak peek at the new Sex Slaves album! See you in the New Year.

Karma to Burn
V
Napalm Records

I’m not sure if I was too busy listening to the deluxe reissues of Wild Wonderful Purgatory and Almost Heathen or was convincing myself that Year Long Disaster was the new Karma to Burn, but I completely missed KTB’s return from a nine-year absence last year with their fourth album, Appalachian Incantation. Aside from sounding like the band never took a day off at all, that album just happened to feature the vocal duty of YLD’s Daniel Davies on the song “Waiting on the Western World,” an unusual direction for KTB who’ve taken to staying on that numbered, instrumental path (although they did it again on the limited edition bonus disc by bringing in John Garcia to sing on “Two Times”). Anyway, I think KTB is making up for lost time because just one year later the stoner rock band is back with their aptly-named fifth album, V, and the fact that Davies is also back again singing on three of the album’s eight songs certainly points to a merging of the two bands given that KTB’s Rich Mullins (bass), Will Mecum (guitar), and Rob Oswald (drums) are all part of YLD’s line-up.* Either way, this one’s got the smokin’ goat on the cover, which means it’s been branded a desert storm of punchy riffs and blood boiling grooves, and that’s exactly what you get from “47,” “48,” “49,” “50,” and “51,” in true KTB fashion. But it’s the Davies’ songs, those being “Cynics,” “Jimmy Dean,” and a cover of Black Sabbath’s “Never Say Die,” which stand out — for obvious reasons — like a rampaging giant in the land of the small, and prove that it can’t hurt to tweak a surefire formula every once in awhile, especially when you’re pretty much starting all over again. You know, since I missed it the first time, let me say this now: It’s great to have Karma to Burn back.

*It turns out that Davies is no longer a part of KTB, so they are once again a trio. I don’t know what this means for YLD, though.

Check out the video for “Cynics” from V!

Matterhorn
Vol. 1. The World Began Without Man...
Thinker Thought Records

On Vol. 1. The World Began Without Man…, Matterhorn takes the familiar destruction-of-human-civilization post-rock theme, splits it up into five stages/songs, and parlays it into a thick-riffed, heavy metal aural story. However, the Colorado trio (all ex-members of The Great Redneck Hope) forgo the more ambient, spacey, and experimental sound most instrumental post-rock bands employ, choosing instead to cash in on their namesake and deliver our demise through mountainous, fuzzy, sludge-leaning chaos that’s as much Karma to Burn as it is Russian Circles, but both will get you where you want to go when it comes down to it. It all plays out in about thirty minutes and covers mankind’s legitimately scientific impending doom, including volcanic unrest (“Stage One: Long Valley Caldera, 8:32 a.m.”), cyclones/typhoons (“Stage Two: Armada Storm”), whatever “The Currents” is about (“Stage Three: The Currents”), radiation (“Stage Four: The South Atlantic Anomaly”), and asteroids (“Stage Five: 99942 Apophis”), all of it a crushing and (at times) melodic attack no doubt laying the groundwork for whatever Vol. 2 is going to delve into. Probably an apocalyptic afterlife or something, who knows. You gotta get through this hopeless bastard first.

Listen to “Stage One: Long Valley Caldera, 8:32 a.m.” from Vol. 1. The World Began Without Man…!