At the beginning of the month I put a call out to all you fellow Beardians, giving you the opportunity to tell me what your favourite albums were this year. I figured that kind of year-end interaction would be better than me coming up with some arbitrary best-of list. Well, I’m not sure if that was too much work for you or if it’s the fact that no one actually reads this blog (that’s highly possible, but I’ll continue on as if at least a few of you are reading), but I got zero response. So…now you’re stuck with a list!

While I did enjoy a great many releases this year (this list concerns mainly full-lengths, not EPs or singles even though I listened to some damn fine ones this year), there were some that affected me more than the rest, and we’ll get to those in a minute. First though, specific thanks go out to Roadsaw, Dixie Witch, Lo-Pan, Trap Them, Biters, Mariachi El Bronx, Toxic Holocaust, Karma To Burn, Hazzard’s Cure, Premonition 13, Black Spiders, Mastodon, Saviours, Spiders, Darlings of Chelsea, Helms Alee, Blood Ceremony, Danava, Monster Truck, C’mon, Barn Burner, Jesse Sykes & The Sweet Hereafter, The Heavy Eyes, Opeth, Elder, and Omega Massif for releasing some top notch, beard-approved albums this year. All mighty stellar indeed.

But there were 14 albums in particular this past year that blasted my beard all to sweet holy hell, and while I’m not gonna rank ‘em, I do think they deserve some extra attention, and you’d be best served to go and seek them out immediately if you haven’t already. So here they are, in alphabetical order…

Black Cobra – Invernal: Eight cuts of unrelenting rotten roll much braver, louder, and nastier than any Black Cobra album that’s come before… (review here)

Elks – Destined for the Sun: This year’s ‘Holy-fuck-these-guys-are-my-new-favourite-band!’ band… (review here)

Gentleman’s Pistols – At Her Majesty’s Pleasure: You don’t so much as listen to it as you do walk into its dark and musty den and stare at all the trophy riffs mounted on the wall like 10 point bucks… (review here)

Glitter Wizard – Solar Hits: Their cosmic psych-punk is gonna hit you like one thousand crotch lasers to the face… (review here)

Graveyard – Hisingen Blues: Rarefied fuzzdom, a kind of electric catnip that makes bell-bottomed leaf hounds go bat-shit… (review here)

Jeremy Irons & The Ratgang Malibus – Bloom: An incredibly soulful jam that focuses the majority of its attention on delivering its hazy, swirling melodies in a clear and present manner… (review here)

The Low Anthem – Smart Flesh: The indie Rhode Island band instills a breathless yearning into their music that rivals any other kind of emotional response you will get from any other kind of music… (review here)

Michael Monroe – Sensory Overdrive: Full of so many eyelined hits it’ll make your head spin… (review here)

Midnight – Satanic Royalty: Black metal thrash so absurdly good you’ll be reawakening neck muscles that have been retired since the early 80s… (review here)

Orchid – Capricorn: Witchy-riffed psych-blues that, had it been recorded in 1969, would be the subject of the first chapter of all tomes concerning the history of heavy metal… (review here)

The Shrine – Bless Off Demo: Just one run through Bless Off‘s neurotic, thrashy, fuzzy, riff-packed punk-doom hybrid and beer will taste better, partying will last longer, denim will fit snugger, and your conquests — sexual or otherwise — will be mightier… (review here)

Skraeckoedlan - Äppelträdet: Äppelträdet (The Apple Tree) stands deep-rooted and thick-trunked, its branches offering  the sweet taste of mammoth melody, and each song you pick is bigger and juicer than the next… (review here)

Turbowolf – Turbowolf: A sweat bomb of ultra-hip, greasy electricity… (review here)

Untimely Demise – City of Steel: Dynamite piece of soul fucking metal… (review here)

So that’s it…another good year, huh? Sadly, I would’ve like to have reviewed Nordic Nomadic’s Worldwide Skyline and some other stuff, but I didn’t. Can’t word ‘em all, I guess.

Oh, and one more thing…I feel like I should pick a beard of the year. So, the winner is…my pal James. James won the Beard of the Month back in February, and has kept his hairy trophy on display since, and now he looks like Guy Fawkes. You might say, ‘Oh, you’re only giving it to him because you know him,’ and you may be right, but you cannot argue against that beard, can you? Occupy facial hair, motherfuckers!

Ok, enjoy the holidaze, friends. There’s plenty slated for review once we resume activity in 2012, including Orange Goblin, Christian Mistress, Dwellers, Black Pyramid, King Giant, Rising, The Saint James Society, High on Fire, Earth, and much more! Maybe even an exclusive sneak peek at the new Sex Slaves album! See you in the New Year.

Hazzard’s Cure
Hazzard’s Cure
Self-Released

On their self-titled full-length debut, San Francisco’s Hazzard’s Cure bruise and belch their way through a fungal-covered forest on the backs of corpse boars, spears poised to strike the life from those they pursue. Their rabid, sporadic approach to the hunt is propelled by a steady stream of heavy metal buggery; bastard forms of sludge, hardcore, death, doom, speed, and thrash not only occupy the album as a whole but often appear within the same song, and the songs themselves (which range from three to ten minutes in length) run together like the warm blood of their prey. This kind of unfocused racket is often the battle cry of the drunk and stoned, and there’s no doubt that’s the case here, but while songs like “Meet Me at the Mountain” and “Great Dishonor” were born in the bottom of bongs and bottles, “Psilocybin” and “Wolves’ Banquet” are pure mosh pit fodder. But then there’s “Tossed and Dethroned,” “Clashing of Hordes,” and “Prayer of the Hunted,” all of which sound like Mastodon, Black Breath, and Viking Skull trading riffs inside a burning church, and you decide once and for all that there’s no use trying to figure it out because it’s just plain ol’ fucking metal.

Listen to Hazzard’s Cure right here!

Black Tusk
Set the Dial
Relapse

Set the Dial is the fourth full length from Savannah metal heads Black Tusk, and if you’ve had the pleasure of hearing either of their latter two, Passage Through Purgatory or Taste the Sin, you know exactly the kind of sludge covered punk you’re about to receive (John Dyer Baizley artwork and all). You see, like its predecessors, Set the Dial rumbles its way through murky swamp and crusty gutter to get to where you feel most safe and comfortable only to heap a hell of a lot of petulance and abrasive screams onto you. That being said though, as crumbling, noise-driven attacks, Black Tusk’s earlier efforts thrived on destruction, where Set the Dial‘s objective seems to be one aimed at rebuilding, at harnessing the rust-stained chaos in order to rise to loftier heights. They do this through the coy use of groove, which lays in wait on table-setter “Brewing the Storm” and then busts through the muck and mire to take over songs like “Mass Devotion,” “Set the Dial to Your Doom,” “Resistor,” and “This Time is Divine,” making Set the Dial‘s riff-driven focus the main, albeit subtle, point of difference. At the end of the day though, it’s another grease-charged album of Georgian origin, and one could spend an entire month getting filthy, high, and in trouble listening to Black Tusk and their mates of state, Zoroaster, Kylesa, Mastodon, and Baroness.

Listen to “Set The Dial To Your Doom” from Set the Dial!