Red Fang

When the calender turns over, I like to look ahead at what albums are coming out, and one of ‘em, above all others, usually ends up in my sights. This year’s most anticipated release for me was Red Fang’s Murder the Mountains, simply because their 2009 self-titled full-length debut was a real rager and, two years later, its scuzz still won’t wash off. Well, Murder the Mountains is finally here, which means it’s time to peel the crust off the ol’ denim vest, unearth your favourite beer cozy, and lock in for a blazin’ good time, right? Well, unfortunately, this one’s not quite the same party Red Fang was, and it seems that the Portland, Oregon band, once capable of delivering killing blows with homemade warhammers and toasting victory with pints of mead, are now doing all they can just to hold their torn and tattered banner high as they march wearily on home. The crux of Murder the Mountains is its thicker density, the majority of the songs taking on a much sludgier vein (“Malverde,” “Throw Up,” “Number Thirteen,” “Into the Eye,” “The Undertow”), making the Melvins and Big Business obvious influences this time around. Because of that, however, the album kind of lumbers lazily along, and stoner metal stand-outs like “Hank is Dead,” “Dirt Wizard,” “Painted Parade,” and “Human Herd” can’t seem to gather any kind of epic momentum. And “Wires,” the album’s single and hook, an interesting mix of desert-pop, encapsulates the production work done by Chris Funk of The Decemberists and has a “Prehistoric Dog” vibe to it, but “Prehistoric Dog” it ain’t. Listen, Murder the Mountains isn’t bad, it’s just not amazing. I still believe mightily in Red Fang and their place alongside their metal contemporaries like Baroness, Torche, The Sword, Priestess, etc., but this one just didn’t live up to my own hype.

Listen to “Dirt Wizard” from Murder the Mountains!

Canada is home to some of the best fucking bands in the world. Sorry, that outburst wasn’t very politely Canadian of me, but it’s fucking true. I’ve got the proof right here, ten times over. I’d crank any one of these albums while I’m watching the hockey game. I can’t bring myself to rank ‘em because, well, I’m just so goddamn proud of all of ‘em, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the time get to know ‘em right now. Here then, in alphabetical order, is this year’s cream of the Canadian crop. Oh, and that crop also includes a case of Pil and some weed.

Barn Burner – Bangers

“[Barn Burner] takes the exotic flare of Tricky Woo, the frantic energy of Valient Thorr, the street machismo of The Bronx, the dusty swagger of Fu Manchu, and the slick harmonies of Thin Lizzy, and turns it into a greasy mess of heavy, blessed, bad-ass rock…”

Barn Burner destroyed me with this one. Bangers is just one of those ‘holy fuck’ albums that fills you with instant recklessness. It makes me wish I was 19 again.

Bison B.C. – Dark Ages

“Dark Ages…binds our hands and feet with snakes and drags us down into the ash and brimstone of Hell’s half acre so we can do Satan’s evil bidding….it’s a bit of a dark departure for Bison B.C. this time around, but that just means they now sound like High on Fire with twin guitars, and that’s pretty fucking awesome.”

Bison B.C. is a stoner metal band with a sense of humor and are best served with alcohol. Lots of it. If you can’t get into that, there’s no hope for you.

Black Mountain – Wilderness Heart

“Amped, hairy, and unpredictable, a reclusive gang armed with a mind-fuck manifesto to take you further….there’s not one song on Wilderness Heart that’s not far-out and really fucking good.”

You know, if I was ranking these albums, this one would be number one. Hell, it’s easily in my top five favourite albums this year. I’ve listened to the album’s opener and closer, “The Hair Song” and “Sadie” respectively, relentlessly since this one came out. And everything in between the two is perfect as well.

Black Wizard – Black Wizard

“..their party hard street metal show belies the thick beard of righteousness that bears the brunt of their majestic doom n’ roll….The seven songs here are all fulla boss downer rock vibes and classic riffs that tumble and roll like a herd of buffalo down the side of a mountain…”

Technically, this one came out late in ’09, but since the vinyl dropped this year, I’m still counting it. Besides, it’s just too damn good not to. These fuckers are the real deal, they live it, breathe it, drink it, and smoke it. With bands like Black Wizard and Barn Burner climbing the ranks, the future of rock n’ roll in this country is solid.

Burning Love – Songs for Burning Lovers

“…Burning Love comes at you like a mental patient off its meds, all red eyes, twitchy limbs, and drool, and the abrasive, fuzzy, hardcore punk n’ roll on Songs for Burning Lovers…offers up all the subtle charm of chewing glass and sparring with a chain link fence.”

Sometimes you lose a band like Cursed but gain a band like Burning Love. What that means is somewhere along the way you committed some kind of epic sin and earned the favour of the rock n’ roll gods; this is your karmic kickback.

C’mon – Beyond the Pale Horse

“Beyond the Pale Horse, then, is like a shot of adrenaline right into your balls, like most C’mon albums are, naturally, and like previous albums, its beauty lies in its beastly nature, its ability to shift and deviate while still remaining furiously savage.”

It pretty much begins and ends with this band. Blurton’s a goddamn genius. The energy, the denim, the beard, the riffs, the fuzz…on and on and on…C’mon are it. Period.

Danko Jones – Below the Belt

“Danko Jones comes screaming out of the corner in this particular fight with – if you can believe it – more attitude than ever before, spittin’ and snarlin’ about what has become his rock n’ roll raison d’être: broads, break-ups, bad thoughts, and bullish bravado.”

If Black Wizard and Barn Burner are the future, C’mon and Danko Jones are the torch bearers, although neither appear ready to pass theirs on just yet. From this one’s cover to its videos, it’s clear that Danko is a superstar ego, but he more than backs it up with a superstar sound.

Quest for Fire – Lights from Paradise

“…a dose of dazed and confused feedback frenzy…The Toronto band injects enough garage rock into their psychedelic vibes for a little extra hip-shake at the black light party, which is to say it manages to make stoner rock sound a bit sexy and somewhat dangerous.”

You can thank Cursed for this band, too. You can thank The Deadly Snakes as well. But ultimately, thank Quest for Fire for takin’ what their old bands gave ‘em and turnin’ it on its head.

Trigger Effect – Versitis Maximus

“Trigger Effect is a cyclone of punk n’ roll danger, all spit and teeth and shirtless fury…Versitis Maximus finds the band flying high through desperate skies on wings of barbed wire once more.”

You kind of have to see Trigger Effect to properly experience them because it’s a fear-based rock n’ roll they spew at you, and while this album comes terribly close to causing you serious harm, it’s just not the same as being front row at a show. It is, however, the next best thing.

Uncle Bad Touch – Uncle Bad Touch

“Much like the band’s maligned name, the songs on Uncle Bad Touch’s self-titled debut scratch away at your mind like a repressed memory and blink like a wired third eye thanks to all the lo-fi riffing, vocal squealing, freaky grooves, and meandering flute.”

Mikey Heppner of Priestess decided to get together with some friends and throw this disastrously awesome album together. Probably quite literally, or that’s how it sounds, anyway. And you know what? I really, really hope they do it again.

The Best Canadian Album Cover of the Year

It’s tough to top a lion and a lovely lady, but I gotta give this one to Uncle Bad Touch’s self-titled album because of its simple yet rude, Rick Trembles-esque je ne sais quoi.

The Best Canadian Album of the Year That I Never Reviewed

Once again, I’ve got something for you that went by undetected, but better late than never, right? Hailing from Ottawa of all places, The White Wires are a twitchy-legged trio with a girl drummer that play a retro brand of blissed-out garage pop, and their second album, the appropriately titled WWII (out on Dirtnap Records), is full of  a whole bunch of fuzzy two-minute ditties, a non-stop electroshock treatment that’ll leave you worn out and disturbingly happy. Trendy and catchy…a lethal combination!

Listen to “Did You Forget My Name” from WWII!

The Best Canadian Album By Friends of Mine

This entire portion of The Ten is based on a certain amount of pride I have for what this country is contributing to the rock n’ roll community at large. The fact that some friends of mine had a tremendous year and offered their own contribution makes me, to put it in the proper terms, extra stoked. I never reviewed Baptized in Blood’s self-titled Roadrunner debut when it came out because I felt too close to it, as weird as that sounds, and I didn’t want to have to worry about “critiquing” it. I just wanted to enjoy it. So, to Josh, Shags, Johl, and Nick…congratulations, dudes. Thanks for keeping the party alive. Your shredding makes my dick hard.

The Best Canadian Beard of the Year

It’s a tie! Black Mountain’s Stephen McBean and C’mon’s Ian Blurton are undeniably beard!

The Best Canadian Video of the Year

Well, it’s got to be Black Mountain’s “The Hair Song,” doesn’t it? The song is incredible and the video was shot in and around my hometown of London, Ontario and features the best bar in the country, Call the Office. That’s good enough for me!

Okay, we’re almost there…best song and best album are right around the corner!

Purple Rhinestone Eagle/Northern Swords/Forsorcerers
Fantasy Quest

What the fuck is going on in Portland, Oregon? I thought my recent discovery of Purple Rhinestone Eagle was rare, but it turns out the whole town is full of secret covens in hidden lairs amassing a cohesive army of high priestess power, steadying themselves to strike like a seething force of Joan of Arcs. Joining Purple Rhinestone Eagle on this particular battlefield (Poison Apple’s split seven inch, Fantasy Quest, from November 2009) are Northern Swords and Forsorcerers, and together they rock in the name of glory, freedom, honour, and death.

Purple Rhinestone Eagle kicks off Side A with “Don’t Want You (Like You Want Me),” viciously beating you about the ribs with a cudgel of fuzz, followed by Northern Swords’ twin metal guitar attack, “Huckleberry Egg and the Diamond Jewel (Pt. 1).” The split gains bloodthirsty momentum on Side B with Northern Swords’ “Huckleberry Egg and the Diamond Jewel (Pt. 2),” which thrashes around like an angry dragon, then gallops on home atop the horse of retro doom with Forsorcerers’ “Timekeepers.” So, it seems the sisterhood of metal is alive and well (in the Northwest at least), and this split is a small victory, albeit a triumphant one.

Head on over to Poison Apple’s site to listen to the songs from Fantasy Quest and buy the record!

Black Wizard
Black Wizard

Ok, so I’m not sure this album is entirely new, but it’s new to me, and as you’re reading this the young Canucks in Black Wizard are putting the finishing touches on the vinyl version, so that’ll be new, got it? And by finishing touches I mean they are silk screening every single goddamn record jacket. That’s instant cred right there, and not just because I have a raging boner for all things rock n’ roll and all things silk screen, but because there’s no doubt that during this awesomely messy DIY process one of ‘em will get ripped to the tits on cheap beer, lose a finger tip in a freak silk screening accident, and bleed all over the freshly painted jackets. I would kill a child with a shoe to get my hands on one of those soiled copies, let me tell you.

Now, the most common words found in the names of all the bands I listen to are electric, black, and wizard. Go figure. Frankly, I am stunned that it took this long for a band to score the name Black Wizard. Of course, they sound EXACTLY like you think they’d sound with a name like that, but that’s not to label ‘em unoriginal minions of rock’s stoner elite. No, the seasoned, grisly dope show they offer up on their self-titled debut is far beyond the years that make up their ages, and their party hard street metal show belies the thick beard of righteousness that bears the brunt of their majestic doom n’ roll. They drive a van, for crying out loud, and the only people who drive vans are plumbers, predators, and creatures of the revolution…and they don’t own a wrench. The seven songs here are all fulla boss downer rock vibes and classic riffs that tumble and roll like a herd of buffalo down the side of a mountain, and while Black Wizard contains its share of the post-millennium stoner metal attitude of fellow countrymen Priestess and Bison B.C., the strength of its spell lies in its ability to channel the savage spirit of bands like Blue Cheer and Candlemass. Man, I can’t wait for that bloody vinyl. Literally.

Listen to “Waves” from Black Wizard!

Barn Burner
Bangers

Barn Burner, you raggedy sons-of-bitches! Are you fucking kidding me? Just when I thought Montreal’s world-eating rock n’ roll machine couldn’t possibly get any meaner, you come bustin’ out of a mile-high pile of crushed PBR cans in some wood-paneled den in your flannel and denim like you’re the goddamn Kings of the Rotten, set my beard on fire, and then piss on the flames. Now the smoke is burnin’ my eyes and I smell like a wino in a litter box, but I’ll be damned if I’m not the happiest rat crawlin’ in the rock n’ roll gutter. I mean, this album right here is the reason I do what I do, that’s for damn sure. It breaks my beard, boy-o.

Now, I know a lot of strange and wonderful people, but if one of them came up to me and said, “There’s a band out there right now who takes the exotic flare of Tricky Woo, the frantic energy of Valient Thorr, the street machismo of The Bronx, the dusty swagger of Fu Manchu, and the slick harmonies of Thin Lizzy, and turns it into a greasy mess of heavy, blessed, bad-ass rock,” I would’ve smashed them in the face with an ashtray and politely told them, “No such band could ever exist. That is rock of the highest – HIGHEST – order, and to pull off such a mammoth feat would take a pair of balls the size of which has never been possessed by man since Bon Scott drank himself to death. And further,” I would’ve said, “this band would need Adrian Popovich behind the controls and for Mikey Heppner of Priestess to make a guest vocal appearance, and, well…now we’re just getting ridiculous.” That’s when they would’ve sucked back the blood running from their nose and said, “Dude…Barn Burner.” I don’t apologize to them, of course, because this is rock n’ roll. This is glory.

Check out the video for “Half Past Haggard” from Bangers!

#6 Priestess – Prior to the Fire

This one was a long time coming, almost four years in fact, and it blew every expectation I had right out of the water. After releasing their debut, Hello Master, Priestess was rolling quietly along until everything exploded; they signed to a major label, toured with some of the biggest bands in the biz, received increased radio airplay, and lent songs to smash hit video games. Fame, however, didn’t change them. In fact, they steered so clear of a commercial sound on Prior to the Fire that their label wouldn’t put it out. So that delayed things a bit, but Priestess finally found another way to release the album and despite the brilliance and success of Hello Master, there’s no doubt that Prior to the Fire is the album Priestess had always wanted to make. Stoner rock, progressive rock, classic rock, heavy metal…it’s all riffs and it’s all here in full bearded surround sound glory. And it’s completely perfect. This is my band, no doubt about it.

Listen to “The Firebird” from Prior to the Fire!

#5 Porcupine Tree – The Incident

It would be pretty much impossible for me to tell you who my favourite band of all time is, but if I was faced with the whole desert island scenario and was only allowed to have one band’s discography at my disposal, this would be the band. My love for Mark Lanegan is overshadowed by only one other singer/songwriter and that’s PT’s Steven Wilson, whose brilliance is unparalleled. Anything he touches (from side projects to producing) is always amazing. PT is a music nerd’s wet dream, an underground phenomenon with a cult following, their discography is expansive and eclectic, and they’ve created a unique, recognizable image with the help of artist Lasse Hoile. Every single thing they do, from songs to videos to packaging to live shows, is pure art, and not since the 70s has such care and thought been put into the album as an entity. Geez, look at me going on and on. I haven’t even got to the double-album The Incident yet. But really, there’s not much I can say. It’s brilliant. Their albums always are. And as before, The Incident plays with pre-conceived notions of genre like it’s a fetus in a mason jar and the result is the most mesmerizing, progressive, complex beauty you’ve ever heard.

Check out the video for “Time Flies” (which has been cut down from over 11:00 to just over 5:00) from The Incident!

When the Municipal Waste show was first announced, The Accused and Cauldron were also on the bill. Then, a few weeks before the show I checked on the line-up again and it had Goatwhore and Brutal Truth listed instead. Well, it seems it changed once more because there was no Goatwhore or Brutal Truth or The Accused. Cauldron made it though. I’ve known singer/bassist Jason Decay ever since the Goat Horn days, so it was good to see him and catch up, if only briefly. Municipal Waste killed. There was another bar in the basement of this venue, and I found my way into it at the end of the night where I was able to catch Die Mannequin’s last few songs. That was a nice surprise.

I had barely recovered when it was time for Priestess, Early Man, and Trigger Effect. Unbelievable line-up for a  beard like me. I’m glad it didn’t change. I hadn’t seen Priestess in a long time, and was once more able to catch up with my old friends. They played almost every song from the new album at some ungodly dangerous decibel level amidst a mind-bending light show, all of which was just fine by me. Trigger Effect was chaotic. Early Man was devastating. It was glorious.

Of course, no trip to Edmonton is complete without a stop at the greatest music store in the world, Megatunes. We came away winners, like we always do. The wife also had a tattoo consultation with the slick-bearded Heath Smith, who is currently drawing up an epic sleeve of owls for her.

I don’t have pictures from the shows (I’m not a camera guy), but I did take pics of my weekend’s spoils. Amanda also grabbed some stuff, like albums from Built to Spill, The Unicorns, My Bloody Valentine, and Yo La Tengo, and a Priestess shirt, a Trigger Effect shirt, and an Early Man tank top. Anyway, here’s what I nabbed:

Vinyl:

The Sword – Gods of the Earth
Baroness – Red Album
Opeth – Morningrise
Mudhoney – Superfuzz Bigmuff
Trigger Effect/Mad Cowboys split 7″ – Friendship Adventure Music
Priestess – Prior to the Fire

CD:

Baroness – Blue Record
Absu – S/T

Clothes/Schwag:

Priestess shirt
Early Man shirt
Early Man patch
Trigger Effect hoodie

(Click for bigger)

Municipal Waste, Goatwhore, and Brutal Truth tonight.

Priestess, Early Man, and Trigger Effect tomorrow night.

I don’t expect to make it out alive, but I’ll write about it if I do.

We got our tickets today for the Priestess show.

Priestess, Gods among men, Canada’s soaring stock in the almighty rock. They finally dropped album number two and now they are touring again (did they ever stop?) and this bearded disciple can’t wait to bow down before the masters once again. Their new album, by the way, is a MONSTER. I reviewed it awhile back over at Sleazegrinder.com, which you can read here. It took them over three years to put out Prior to the Fire, and there’s many reasons for that, but they’re all reasons that stem from them being too awesome for their own good.

I’d like to give a big beardy salute to Indica for releasing the album in Canada, and I just found out that Tee Pee will be releasing it stateside in early 2010. Tee Pee is awesome and Priestess is a perfect fit.

Oh, and as if this show wasn’t badass enough, the line-up also includes Early Man and Trigger Effect. A rock show this stacked should be illegal.

So, snow be damned. The fire is raging. The amps are buzzing.

Listen to “Raccoon Eyes” from Prior to the Fire.

Do yourself a serious favour and go to a Priestess show as soon as you can. Check out their myspace page for dates and venues. Those of you out East will get to see Quest for Fire, so don’t miss out.