This piece of shit movie is supposed to be about disenfranchised teens, the bonds of friendship, and sexual curiosity, blah blah, but I think it’s just an hour and a half of poorly acted, terribly scripted, rape. Or necrophilia, depending on how you want to look at it. First, I couldn’t get past the 20-something actors that are suppose to be high school kids.  It didn’t work on 90210 and it’s not working here. Second, given the averages laid out by this film, 100% of men — sorry, boys — who come across a bound and dead (or near dead) body of a woman aren’t going to try and help her, but are going to fuck her repeatedly. If only the girls at school would just spread their legs, then these guys wouldn’t have to fuck a living corpse, huh? I guess that’s another point this movie is trying to make, so pay attention ladies. And about this dead girl? Well, she’s not really dead in so much as she can’t die. Don’t even bother asking why or how she got that way because that kind of detail isn’t important. The important thing is, she’s naked and not really willing.

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Bloodlights
Simple Pleasures
Silversonic Records

Simple Pleasures, the second album from Norway’s Bloodlights, led by the voraciously-named Captain Poon, best known for his outstanding work with punk n’ roll stalwarts, Gluecifer, comes as advertised, which means it’s easy, sweaty, catchy, and positively bursting at the seams with the kind of loose-lipped attitude a sex phone operator employs to get you to spend another $4.99. The ease with which Bloodlights fuse arena-sized hooks and slinky backroom riffs is absurdly admirable, and if they didn’t sound like rotten cock rock bastards, I’d be hard pressed not to admit that their hip, sing-a-long sound is way too good for me. But it’s not, of course, and songs like “City of the Dead,” “Simple Pleasures,” and “Just One More” contain all the boogie glitter of bands like Chinatown, The Flaming Sideburns, or Slideshaker, while songs like “Blasted,” “Sticky Handshake,” and “Wipe it Off” contain the high octane sin of bands like the Revolvers, The Bones, or Social Distortion. Every song here is a genuine sleaze pop article, equal parts sugar and snark, like only  Scandinavians can pull off. I don’t know how they do it, but I fucking love it.

Listen to “City of the Dead” from Simple Pleasures!

Wig Wam
Non Stop Rock’N'Roll
Frontiers Records

Remember when I reviewed the new Crazy Lixx album awhile back and went on about how their music fueled a lot of my wild nights when I was single and careless? Yeah, well you can throw Norway’s Wig Wam right into that magical mix too because I cranked the hell out of their first two albums, Hard to be a Rock’N'Roller…in Kiev and Wig Wamania during those days, like I wasn’t ever going to make it back home. The usual stand-outs for getting the party going were “Daredevil Heat” or “A Rock’N'Roll Girl Like You” or “Car-Lyle” and before you knew it I was actually reaching for a can of hairspray and some eyeliner. It’s been four years since Wig Wamania (the catchy choruses are still ringing in my ears) and I have no idea what the band’s been up to since then, but if I had to guess I’d say they were probably living large in Japan, where hair metal trumps all, soaking in their Eurovision* fame, getting fat on adulation, and writing more insanely catchy choruses for their new album, Non Stop Rock’N'Roll.

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