That’s right, ‘kaw.’ As in the sound a bird makes. Or, to be more exact, the sound a killer raven makes before it tears you to pieces with its black beak and sharp claws. Now, if you’re thinking, “Gee, with a name like that, the movie couldn’t possibly be any good,” you’d be pretty much right. So let’s toss aside the obvious Hitchcockian angle here and focus on what really matters: the terrible fate of the humble country folk who must battle an epidemic of mad ravens with a hunger for flesh. How will they survive? I mean…will they survive?

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“You crazy fuck! You’re not gonna kill me like you killed her.”
“I didn’t kill her. I would never, ever have hurt her. Or you. I don’t hurt women.”
“Oh no? Then why is she just a fucking skull now, Tom?”

Summer’s Moon stars Ashley Greene, one of the secondary teen vamps in the Twilight saga, and the suits in charge of releasing this movie no doubt realized how BAD it was and decided they had to cash in on her notoriety in order to get people to watch this terrible FLOP. So, they changed the original title, Summer’s Blood, to Summer’s Moon in order to capitalize on the New Moon hysteria and even used the EXACT same font. C’mon, man. That title doesn’t even make sense when you watch the movie. So weak. Now, in case you’re wondering, we didn’t decide to watch this movie because of its parasitic connection to the popular world of shirtless wolf boys; we’ve got more integrity than that. We decided to watch it because it’s got a relatively attractive young girl on the cover wielding a knife. Ok, maybe not that much more.

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