The Crown
Doomsday King
Century Media

The Crown have returned. After a six year absence, the Swedish death metal band has a new singer (Jonas Stålhammar of God Macabre) and a new album, the colossally brutal statement, Doomsday King. That statement, as best as I can make it, is a steadfast one, a waving, tattered black banner under which a united front of undead, steel-helmeted militia stand tall and hungry, whose demise was nothing more than a self-imposed exile from which they could choose to rise at any time. Well, the time is now; the front-line swells, sharpened scythes are held high, the victor’s spoils waiting to be plucked from the night sky amidst flying blood and angel’s screams. Perhaps driven by the desire to erase their absence from our collective conscious all together, the resurrected Crown strike with obvious purpose, unleashing a relentless slaughter of death thrash that sounds ultimately more sinister than anything they’ve done before. It isn’t, of course. It just sounds that way because it’s been so long, but there does seem to be a slight shift away from the motor-driven death n’ roll of previous albums, probably because they’ve turned off the long highway through Hades and now it’s time to kill…and eat like kings.

Listen to “Age of Iron” from Doomsday King!

Well, there’s no problem. If you have a gun, shoot ‘em in the head. That’s a sure way to kill ‘em. If you don’t, get yourself a club or a torch. Beat ‘em or burn ‘em. They go up pretty easy.

It was George Romero’s 70th birthday on Wednesday, so the wife and I celebrated by watching Night of the Living Dead. The original 1968 version, of course. It’s strange how on his birthday we’re the ones who get such a nice present. Anyway, I really love watching old horror movies because, more than anything, they’re good for a laugh. We’re so used to trillion dollar budgets and CGI this and green-screen that nowadays that when we come across something archaic and raw like a movie from the 60s, it seems comical in comparison. And most times it is, but that’s really not the case with Night of the Living Dead.

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What was it I said a little while ago? Nothing good ever happens in the snow? Yeah, I think that was it, and here’s more proof: Dead Snow (or Død snø in its native Norwegian). Now, if you’re like me and felt a little let down by Inglourious Basterds and are jonesing for more satisfactory Nazi killing action, then you should think about checking out Dead Snow because as an added bonus, the Nazis in this movie are also zombies. And there’s A LOT more blood and guts. There had to be, really, because this movie is a wash otherwise. But looking for substance in a low-budget horror/black comedy flick is like ordering a salad at a fast food joint, isn’t it? You really only watch a movie like Dead Snow precisely because it’s gonna pile the blood and guts up higher than a ski hill and it responsibly chooses camp over plot.

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