First, I want to apologize for the lack of posts lately. The laptop has been suffering some major issues and so I’ve been without a full-time computer for about a week now, but a new one has been procured, so we should be getting back on track here real soon. I’ve got plenty of new stuff to throw your way. Anyway, I manged to watch some movies during all that non-computer time, so here you go…

Frozen

The idea behind Frozen, the 2010 horror movie about three skiers stuck on a chair lift high above a mountain side, kind of reminds me of the old Mitch Hedberg joke about the above-ground swimming pool commercial, and how it can only be 30 seconds long because that’s the most amount of time you can depict having fun in an above-ground swimming pool. I didn’t think it would be possible to squeeze a whole movie’s worth of scares out of such an above-ground premise (and it wasn’t, really), but Frozen does manage to push your anxiety meter well into the red simply because it thrives on a totally reasonable, palpable fear. That being said, it’s not hard to predict what lies ahead for our stranded skiers (i.e. finding a way down, frostbite, etc.), who don’t seem to be taking their survival very seriously (do up your coat, idiot!), and you have to be able to handle the kind of dialogue that evolves from a stranded situation, such as blaming, arguing, crying, and reminiscing. However, the circling, hungry wolves were an excellent touch.

Check out the trailer for Frozen!

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We’re gonna try something a little different. I’ve been watching a bunch of movies lately, but haven’t found the time to write about them individually. So, instead of giving them the usual treatment, I’m gonna go ahead and shove ‘em all into this one post, lighting round style. The reviews will be much shorter and won’t provide as much plot detail, but will provide the same toothsome repartee, so I’m hoping they work all the same. Who knows, maybe I’ll really like doing it this way. Anyway, bring on the bad fun!

Mother

A Korean film from the same dude responsible for The Host about an eccentric and neurotic mother of a mentally challenged boy who she believes has been framed for murder. A young school girl has been killed and all evidence points toward the kid, so the police pick him up and the case is closed. The mother, however, is adamant about her son’s innocence and sets out to prove it. Hye-ja Kim (as the mother) is really awesome, and aside from being a suspenseful whodunit, it’s also pretty damn funny, which is a difficult combo to pull off. Recommended, but only if you can handle over two hours of sub-titles.

Check out the trailer for Mother!

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I can’t help but think that had this 2009 Canadian film about a rock n’ roll band of vampires been released at some other time (that time being any time when there wasn’t a Twilight or a Trueblood, etc.), I might have enjoyed it more, but as it is it just feels like another bite (yes, really) at the fang craze, and even its backdrop of a gigging band searching for stardom, its numerous rock star cameos, and small but smart doses of humor, doesn’t help push it past being just another fad. Of course, it doesn’t help that the music in this rock n’ roll spoof is completely lame — that it, yes, sucks. That’s probably what offended me most about Suck, especially given the obvious influences guiding writer/director/star Rob Stefaniuk. I understand that in order to properly spoof the industry, to lay waste to the shticks people will rely on to help make ‘em famous, you have to have a shitty band with a shitty name (in the this case The Winners) because the majority of mainstream bands are truly terrible, but The Winners’ insipid, whiny brand of rock n’ roll just made me angry. I got it, but I didn’t enjoy swallowing it.* Of course, as mentioned earlier, Stefaniuk was obviously guided by some strong influences, and Suck isn’t so much a great movie to watch as it is a great game to play.

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